This Isn’t Easy to Share, But I'm Just Trying To Be Faithful
Monthly Reflection | May 2025
I used to crave recognition. Approval. Attention. The sense that I mattered. That my voice meant something. That I was someone important.
I don’t say that proudly. But I say it honestly.
I masked it as creativity. As ambition. As “making an impact.” But underneath it all was a deep ache to feel seen—especially by those who never really saw me.
Now, most days, I’d rather hide.
I’ve come to see the foolishness of chasing attention. I’m an introvert at heart. I don’t like being in the spotlight. I don’t like drawing attention to myself. And to be honest, I often feel a huge wave of anxiety before I share anything publicly. A subtle dread. A desire to disappear.
Don’t get me wrong, I love creating. I love writing. But I hate sharing.
I long to be faithful, but I fear being misunderstood.
I want to glorify God, but I fear appearing as though I’m trying to glorify myself.
The tension is real.
But through this ongoing wrestling over the years, I’ve learned that the answer isn’t to hide.
“You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:14
God didn’t give me these gifts just to bury them.
He didn’t give me this story just to keep it to myself.
So I’m trying—imperfectly, prayerfully—to offer what He’s entrusted to me.
Not to make a name for myself. Not to build a platform. But because I believe that when God gives us something sacred, we don’t hold it back out of fear.
No.
We lean into Him, and we offer it up in faith.
Two weeks ago, I released the most meaningful project I’ve ever worked on.
It’s called Vow To Life.
It’s a quiet offering for anyone who’s ever contemplated taking their own life, or even just questioned if their life still matters.
I felt a deep calling to create it. But I also felt a deep resistance to sharing it.
Part of that was humility. I didn’t want it to be about me. I wanted the focus to stay on the people it’s meant to help.
But part of that was fear too. Fear of getting my hopes up. Fear of pouring my heart into something so sacred and so personal… and then seeing it fall flat.
So I kept my expectations low. I tried to protect my heart.
And yet, the response in these first two weeks has stunned me.
I was brought to tears more than once by the comments and messages. By the people who not only read it—but shared it. Signed it. And sent it to loved ones.
27 people (so far) have made the vow to life.
That’s 27 souls who have chosen to believe their is hope for their future, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
That’s 27 sacred yes’s to life.
Not because of me. But because God is moving, God is working, and God is doing what only God can do.
My only role here is to steward what God has given to me.
To steward what He has entrusted to me.
So I’m sharing it as best as I can—with trembling hands, and a prayer that it lands where it’s needed most.
In the midst of all this, I also recently submitted a big job application.
It was for a technical writing role I hadn’t planned on pursuing.
But as I was reading the job description, something shifted in me. Something clicked.
Through the process of applying—from reading the job description, to reflecting on my past work, to writing the sample—I was deeply moved.
It didn’t feel like just another application. It reminded me why I love writing. Why I want to keep doing this work. Why clarity, care, and human connection matter.
It helped me see more clearly how much I want to commit to a career as a writer.
Not just as a side passion.
Not just in moments of inspiration.
But seriously and professionally. As a calling and as a career.
I don’t know if I’ll get this particular job. And I’m okay with that because the point isn’t the outcome, it’s the direction.
I’m no longer dancing around it, pretending like it’s not what I truly want, or like it’s not what I’m built for.
I’m finally stepping into the work I believe I’m here to do.
The work I believe I was born to do.
And yet, the tension remains.
There’s still part of me that wants to stay hidden. That wants to live a quiet, simple life behind the scenes. To pray, read, create, serve—and never have to post another thing again.
But I’m reminded that hiding isn’t always holiness. Sometimes it is. But sometimes, it’s actually just fear in disguise.
Only God can help you discern which it is for you, in this particular season of your life.
All I know is that if I want to be faithful with what God has given me, I have to be willing to offer it.
Not perform it. Not promote it. Just to offer it.
So here I am. Offering it.
If it reaches one more person who needs it, praise God.
If it reminds one more person that their life still matters, praise God.
No matter what happens… yup, you guessed it… praise God.
To anyone else wrestling with the same tension—to be seen or not to be seen, to speak up or to stay silent—I get it.
But maybe the question isn’t, “Am I ready to be seen?”
Maybe the better question is, “Am I willing to be faithful… to whatever He calls me?”
“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16
That’s the only kind of visibility I want.
Not for my glory.
But for His.
If you or someone you love is struggling, I invite you to check out and share VowToLife.com.
It’s not flashy. It’s not long. It’s just a small, sacred offering.
And it might just be the tiny spark of hope that someone is praying for right now.
Thank you for reading.
That’s all I have to say, for today.
May these words find who it needs to find.
And may it gently whisper: your life still matters.
With you in faith and hope,
Stefano G.
“The Lord is my fortress and my refuge, in whom I trust.” - Psalm 91:2
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Stefano, I really appreciate how candid you are. I am reminded, through your writing, of my own misguided desires for attention and self gain instead of God’s glory. Your writing helped me recognize this in myself and also inspired me that hiding isn’t always the appropriate response. Thank you :).
You hit the ‘nail on the head’. It’s always about obedience. What will we do with what He has placed in our hands? How will we steward it? I think about that a lot when I get lazy or discouraged and feel like giving up. This isn’t about me. It’s about the people on the other side of my obedience.