It took me 10 years to learn this

But it doesn't have to take you that long

Stefano Ganddini

Jun 25, 2026

I read a Tony Robbins quote in college that has lived rent-free in my head ever since.

The quote read:

“Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”

Something about this quote instantly rang true deep in my soul.

At the time, I was attending the University of Southern California (USC)—one of the most prestigious universities in the world, and certainly in America. I was studying engineering and I had a clear path ahead of me that would allow me to achieve great financial success in the corporate world.

By the time I graduated from USC in 2015, I had a full-time job lined up with a starting salary of $60,000, plus a signing bonus and benefits. I was working as a technology consultant at a global consulting firm, performing IT audits for multi-billion dollar financial companies. For a fresh college graduate, not to mention a first-generation American and a first-generation college graduate, this was everything I had spent my whole life working so hard for.

I felt rich for the first time in my life.

On paper, I had everything a 22 year old could ever want. I was successful by all traditional standards, and I knew that if I stayed the course, it would only be a few years before I’d be earning a six-figure salary.

And yet… I was miserable.

How could this be?

Just a few months into the job, I knew that this wasn’t the path for me. To be honest, I wasn’t really surprised. That Tony Robbins quote came to mind once again. I was successful, sure, but I wasn’t fulfilled.

To be clear, it was not a bad job by any means. I had great co-workers, great mentors, and I made great memories during my brief time there.

But at the end of the day, I knew I wasn’t meant to spend my life staring at spreadsheets for 10+ hours/day. And when I looked at the majority of the people at the top of the ladder, at the top of the company, I had to be honest with myself—I was not inspired by them. I did not want the life that these people had. Nothing personal against them, it just wasn’t the path for me.

So I did the only logical thing I could think to do at the time.

I quit.

If You Haven’t Defined Success For Yourself, You Can Never Win

I was fortunate to experience that early, yet unfulfilling “success” at the young age of 22.

Some people don’t have that moment of realization until much later in life. And worst of all, some don’t realize it until the very end of their life. That’s always been one of my biggest fears. To get to the end of my life, to be lying on my deathbed, and to realize that I failed to live a life true to myself.

That being said, realizing that I had been living according to the world’s definition of success was only half the battle. It took me many more years to realize that I had still never actually defined success for myself.

That’s a dangerous place to be.

Because once you’ve stopped pursuing someone else’s definition of success, but haven’t yet created your own, you’re left in a kind of limbo. Which is exactly where I found myself.

I wasn’t chasing the world’s version of success, but I wasn’t fully anchored to anything either. I still wanted financial freedom. I still wanted to do meaningful work. I still wanted to make an impact in the world. But I didn’t know how to fit all those pieces together. A part of me wanted to build wealth, but another part of me feared becoming the kind of person who sacrificed everything that actually mattered in pursuit of it.

So I wrestled with a single question that consumed much of my twenties:

Is it possible to be materially successful without losing your soul?

I spent the better part of a decade trying to answer that question. I studied under successful entrepreneurs. I hired coaches. I attended retreats. I read countless books on business, psychology, spirituality, and personal development. I invested tens of thousands of dollars searching for answers.

And while I learned a great deal, I found myself facing a dilemma—every teacher had a different definition of success.

One mentor told me to stay put, focus on business, and delay travel until I was financially established. Another told me to trust God, take the leap, and follow where I felt called. Both were successful. Both were sincere. And yet, I knew both couldn’t be right at the same time.

It took me a long time, but eventually, I realized something important:

No mentor, coach, guru, or teacher could define success for me.

That was my responsibility.

Thankfully, today I no longer outsource my definition of success to the world. Instead, I’ve decided to redefine what success actually looks like for me.

For me, I’ve come to realize that true success isn't something you achieve once. It's something you practice every day through the kind of person you're becoming. And it’s less about what you can get, and more about what you can give. As Jesus once said, “the greatest among you will be your servant.”1

Based on this new understanding, here’s my new definition of success.2

I’ll Know I’m Successful When…

I spend time with God daily.
I’m living in my identity as a beloved son, and I’m doing my best to be obedient to the will of God in all areas of my life.
I’ve created a life that has margin; a life that can breathe; a life that has time for love.
I am getting stronger, fitter, and healthier each year than the year before.
I have fulfilling friendships and relationships with my family.
I am using my God-given gifts for the glory of God.
My income exceeds my needs and I have growing savings and investments.
I’m committed to improving my craft long-term and overcoming the resistance on a daily basis—by relying on God’s strength, not my own.
I’m making a bigger impact and contribution each year than the year before.
I regularly do things that excite and/or scare me.

By these standards, I can honestly say: I am already successful.

This is not to say I’m not still striving for better. I am. There is always room for improvement, of course. I’m not perfect, or finished (not even close). I’m still growing and learning and praying everyday for God to help me fulfill the dreams He has put on my heart. And I’m not afraid to admit that I’m still not where I want to be, but at the same time, I’m learning how to be content and at peace with exactly where I’m at, during this phase of my life.

That may sound a bit paradoxical, and it sort’ve is, to be honest. But the truth is I’m proud of the life I’ve been creating for myself over the last decade, and the life I am living today—because I’m no longer living by the world’s standards of success, but my own standards.

And while it’s taken me a long time to formulate this new definition of success, it doesn’t have to take you so long. To be clear, my hope isn’t that you adopt my definition of success. My hope is that you create your own.

Because the most dangerous thing in life isn’t failure, it’s spending your life pursuing a version of success that was never yours to begin with. It may have been given to you by your parents, or your peers, or your teachers, or your culture, or social media. But it’s not yours. And so even if you do succeed, you’ll still be miserable… because it was never what you wanted in the first place.

No judgment if that’s where you’re at. Seriously. I’ve been there, which is why I know how much it sucks. But I don’t want that for you.

So let me leave you with a simple but powerful question:

How will you know when you’re successful?

All you have to do is finish this sentence:

"I’ll know I'm successful when…"

Write it down.
Print it out.
Put it somewhere you’ll see every day.
And then get to work.

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Matthew 23:11

Shout out to Rich Litvin and Dean Jackson for the “success list” idea and for inspiring this post: https://richlitvin.com/success-list/

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